“I felt the spirit’s presence, but couldn’t see it standing there. Then out of the dreadful silence came this voice:” Job4:16 TLB
Following the onset of #metoo movement and #nomoreshame project, there is a lot of ongoing advocacy to break the silence of emotional trauma. I concur with these movements because I believe total healing does not take place in isolation.
That notwithstanding, we must realize that it requires personal responsibility for each individual to speak up. This often arises in moments of an awakening. For a long time, I was of the belief that an awakening only happens when a person has a near-death experience. That seems to be the story of many people but it is a partial truth.
An awakening is when you come to the realization that there should be more about your existence than your current state. It is that moment when you start looking for the missing puzzle of your life and having a life-transforming dialogue with yourself.
So, going to back to our counterparts who are still to have this awakening experience, how do we support them to manage the period of silence until they are prepared to break the silence in their tribe (healthy community)?
While you wait, I want to remind you of these four truths:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You might feel alone because no one in your circle really understands what you are going through. That might be because you have never told a soul about your abuse, loss or pain. That notwithstanding, you are not alone.
There are many survivors who have gone through what you have experienced. They are all around you; waiting for you to come out of silence so together you can heal and grow to the best version of yourself.
YOU ARE LOVED
This might sound very ordinary to most people but it is a truth which is hard for a trauma survivor who has been told all sorts of lies to receive. They may have hurt you, they may have disappointed your trust, they may have told said: “you are not worthy of love.” These messages may have been transmuted verbally or non-verbally. That doesn’t change the fact that is a lie.
You are loved by a loving God: your creator, who has placed people on your path to demonstrate this love for you. Until you choose to accept this truth, you may never be able to see the love seeking you and the love in you.
YOU ARE VALUABLE
Your value does not come from your position; neither does it come from your possession or your personality. You value comes from who you are.
You are not what your abuser told you; you are not what your parents told you; you are not what society tells you! You are a dearly beloved child of the Most High God. You are blessed, beautiful, favored, intelligent, wise and ordained to accomplish a great vision.
YOU DESERVE THE BEST
Until this point, you may have thought you are not worthy to have a good and better life (whatever your definition of a good and better life may be). Well, I want to let you know that what you desire is not meant for a selected population. It has been freely given to all: including you.
However, you may need to let go of the hurts, pain, disappointment, and silence in order to embrace the life you desire.
There is an amazing community waiting to support your recovery whenever you are ready to break the silence.