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You depend on Him but He depends on you!


Have you ever anxiously expected a Parcel? Day after day you wait for a knock on the day supposing the delivery person will drop it off to you. After waiting and waiting, you realize that it was delivered to another occupant of the house over a week ago. This sweet person kept the parcel in a nice spot for you to discover it. The entire time, you have been complaining and cursing when all you needed to do was to look around and pick up what rightfully belongs to you.

This describes an attitude we carry along when expecting a change in our situation.  We believe God has the remote control of our lives. That is totally correct. He is the author, the originator, and creator (Hebrews 12:2) of our entire being. However, it doesn’t end there and that is the point we miss.

Daily we go to him crying, begging and asking Him to change our situation because He is the author. Whereas, He turns towards us and say, “I have given you all that you need (2 Peter1:3), what else do you want me to do?”

So, what can you do to get the future you desire?

  1. Take responsibility: You cannot continue blaming external forces and people including your family members for the state of your wellbeing. Complain is the number one killer of achievement.
  2. Take control: If you identify yourself as a child of God, there is a power in you which is greater than whatever may be against you including what you have been through.
  3. Take Possession: Everything you need has already been given to you. Explore your potentials and you will be amazed at the gifts and talents which are lying dormant in you.

With Love and Gratitude, enjoy the blessings of God!

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“Comfort, yes, comfort my people,” says your God. Isaiah 40:1 TLB

Years ago as a teenager, I came across the bestselling novel Cry, the beloved country by Alan Paton. I don’t remember much of what I read but I do remember saying, “Thank God my country is peaceful.” Can I still say the same words with respect to the beloved country of my birth: Cameroon? Absolutely Not!

When I hear the stories from loved ones and friends, see the videos and images on social media and read the news from multiple post and channels, I can’t help but cry.

Courtesy: Mr. Leo-Artist

Why do I cry? I will tell you.

I cry for the young girls, boys, children, women, and men who are being raped daily.

I cry for the people who have been maimed; rendered paralyzed and incapacitated.

I cry for the souls whose breath have been snatched by the crisis.

I cry for the children, mother, father, grandparents, brothers, sisters, cousins grieving the sudden departure of their loved one and breadwinner.

I cry for the loving family who has no choice but to relocate to the forest because their homes have been burned to ashes or their existence on earth is threatened.

I cry for the vibrant villages which are now deserted because its inhabitants have to run away from stray bullets.

I cry for the homes tearing apart because the heat from the unstable source of income impends internal peace.

I cry for young men and women in the diaspora who pick up a phone call just to be informed that the entire family back home has been wiped away by a bomb dropped by a helicopter.

This list can go on and on…

But, why do I cry?

Courtesy – Kemi Ashu

I cry because the effects of trauma last way longer than the initial incident.

Above all else, I cry for the millions of trauma survivors all around the world drowning in their silence.

They are silent because when they first spoke out about their abuse, violence and grieve, no one believed them. Others laughed, mocked at them while another group joked about the incident.

That doesn’t tell everyone’s story.  Perhaps, they are silent because they are still to muster the courage to speak up or they just don’t have the right words to explain their circumstances.

That leads us to the question; what will happen to the new breed of trauma survivors who will emerge from this ongoing crisis?

Are they going to join the bandwagon to buckle in their emotional struggles?

Love – Light – Live!

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Manyi Ebot

Any person who has experienced an overwhelming, unbearable and intolerable situation will attest to the fact that it takes tremendous effort to keep functioning. It would have been great if the mind, body and spirit goes back to normal instantly after the traumatic experience but sadly, it doesn’t happen that way.

Long after the experience, the slightest trigger cause loads of emotions to flood in. Soon after the event, we learned to soothe these emotions with over eating, working too much, excessive alcohol, avoiding your problems and ignoring, numbing or bottling up feelings. You may have had these tactics for so long, they helped you cope but they do not define you.

At this point in your life, you can change those strategies if you have realized that they are self-defeating.

Do you want to continue as a workaholic?

Do you want to continue as an over eater?

If yes, that is okay but if no, begin to define yourself with the new pattern you want your life to follow.

Think of all of the ways your mal-adaptive coping strategies limits you. I know it has its payoffs; it masks the fear, compensates the guilt, gives an excuse not to meet up with your standards but is that what you want?

The way you see yourself sets the pattern for your life to follow.

Identify with your personal philosophy and invest a conscious effort in a more fulfilling coping strategy base on your definition.

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Forgive Yourself


Within each of us, we blame ourselves for the abuse in one way or another. The blame might not be on the act but on the aftermath.
You could be telling yourself, “It would not have happened if I didn’t leave the house”. So, you blame yourselves for going out at that time. Or “I would not have been tortured or neglected if I wasn’t born” so you blame yourself for being born. Or you blame yourself for not speaking out about a childhood abuse earlier.
Forgive yourself!

#love #encouragement #motivation #inspiration #personalgrowth #traumarecovery #personaldevelopment #lifestyle #mentalwellness #mindempowerment #recovery #mentalselfcare #thoughtoftheday #innercritic #transformyourmind #truth #lies #limitingbeliefs #forgiveyourself

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Birth of the Inner Critic


Have you ever considered why you need to transform your mind?

Trauma, as well as many mental health challenges, often led to inner hatred, harsh self-criticism, and self-sabotage. This is the work of the inner critic.

We all have that inner critic who was born when we internalized the opinions of people in authority over us, the actions of others or our perception of expectations.
It could have been born when someone said you didn’t measure up in some ways, you are inadequate or faulty. Perhaps by your observation; you were praised for doing the right thing, ignored or worse still got into trouble for doing the wrong thing.

This gave birth to that voice in you which says “what kind of an idiot are you; I can’t believe you did that.” “You don’t deserve to exist.” “You never do anything right.” “You have to do it this way in order to be liked and accepted.”

It is not God’s intention for us to be at war with ourselves on the inside.

The inner critic is trying to protect you from the criticism of other people. Appreciate it for its role but tell it you can do things differently now. Find the truth you need for that situation. Use the truth in God’s word to renew your mind from the opinion of the inner critic so you can be transformed into the amazing person God made you be.

#love #encouragement #motivation #inspiration #personalgrowth #traumarecovery #personaldevelopment #lifestyle #mentalwellness #mindempowerment #recovery #mentalselfcare #thoughtoftheday #innercritic #transformyourmind #truth #lies #limitingbeliefs

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Progress over Perfection


Have you ever found yourself fixated on attaining perfection in a certain area of your life?
What do you think is the source of your drive towards perfection?
Often times, the words, actions or perceived expectations make you feel you need to do more, be better and perfect to fit in the standards.
You are perfect just the way God made you! You are enough!
Does that mean you can’t make improvements in the areas you want to grow? Of course not!
Focus on the progress you are making everyday physically, spiritually mentally.
Perfection is a fantasy… Acknowledge your progress.

#love #encouragement #motivation #inspiration #personalgrowth #traumarecovery #personaldevelopment #lifestyle #mentalwellness #mindempowerment #recovery #mentalselfcare #thoughtoftheday #progress #perfection #youareenough

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Grow out of Self-Blame



Excerpt from The caged Giant: “Stop tormenting yourself for the things you are telling yourself would have happened if you had done something different.
You could be holding forgiveness from yourself because to you, if you didn’t use that path or leave the house at that time you would not have been raped.
You could also have believed your accuser who said your actions invited the sexually abuse you. You cannot be exactly sure of that so drop it and move on.
We may not be proud of the things that happened to us and could wish our experiences were different but we also have to acknowledge that our role is limited.
The best you can do for yourself is to release your destiny, future and life through working on letting go of seld-blame; forgive and love yourself.”

#love #encouragement #motivation #inspiration #personalgrowth #traumarecovery #personaldevelopment #lifestyle #mentalwellness #mindempowerment #recovery #mentalselfcare #thoughtoftheday #forgiveness #forgiveyourself #self-blame